Lose weight, save money, cut out booze? I could do that! But give up smoking?

It took me five years just to admit that I wanted to quit

For a long time I kept all of them. And not just at New Years, either. Two stone? Lost. Savings target? Met. Dry January? Easy. I took a healthy packed lunch to work every day. I kept my trainers by the bed for 6am runs. I read War and Peace, then I read it again. In short, if I willed some lifestyle change, it happened – but isn’t that how it works for everyone?

Apparently not. Spock-like, I noted how the other humans seemed to sack off their good intentions within a few weeks – even making a big joke of the whole “resolutions” business – and I was confused: like, seriously, when are you lot going to get your acts together?

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